The learning always continues........

Okay so as a trained educator, I know in my head at least, that learning never stops.  The theme of the Education department of my alma mater was "Life Long Learning".  And yes I truly do believe in the concept.  And I love, love, LOVE learning.  There are several things I'd like to learn in a classroom situation. In the future I will be back in the classroom for two years when we go seminary.  I am excited about that prospect.  In fact I want to combine that training with the work I have already done to continue and eventually finish my Master's degree (see my LIST).  But that isn't exactly what I am talking about here.  I am talking about myself.

As a posted before, I have always been somewhat of a follower, doing what was 'accepted'.  As a consequence of that mindset, I have never been very confident in my own abilities, emotions, or advice.  I know that there are some that will read this that will want to chime in at this point and reassure me etc. on those points.  But the point is I am learning to become more confident in these things.  I am not there yet, not by a long shot.  But I AM learning.  And it never ceases to amaze me when I realize these things, when I speak up where I would have previously been silent, when I find that I have my own thoughts to lend to a conversation, particularly when they don't ditto someone else's remarks already or when someone else affirms  my ideas or conclusions.

I still find myself seeking out and hoping for confirmation at times, and probably always will, but I don't fret over not receiving it nearly as much as I would have in the past.

But you know what amazes me the most this time around, is the fact that in this point in my journey of self discovery (as a dear friend of mine so aptly called it) God  is using the pain and mistakes in my past in two ways.  First of all, in my own revisiting and discussion I have learned some of  the positive uses He had for that, as well as now being given the gift of the reconciliation of relationships from that time.  And secondly I am able to more clearly see 'why' I did what I did as well as the consequences of those actions.  And having the benefit of distance of time, I can use what I am learning in discussions with others about situations in their own lives, especially empathizing with someone, or offering a viewpoint from someone else.

I never knew learning about myself would teach me so much about others as well.