Content just being me.

Today's - well actually yesterday's - post  was inspired by THIS.  Yes you have to go read the link again.

This has been my battle, or one of them, for the last several years.  Actually I defined it as trying to discover my own identity, but it boils down to the same thing.  I have to let go of the identities others have of me, and those that I perceived that others had of me.  Those perceptions are often worse that the "real" ones.  Because my perfectionist self would make extra demands on myself to be just right, so I will be the perfect mother, sister, daughter...etc.

It has only been in the past few years that I have seen this problem for what it is and have begun to combat it.  At first I really didn't know where to start.  And a friend of mine at the time told me to start in the Bible.  I was such a babe when it came to realizing and making my relationship with God a personal one, that I didn't know what she meant.  However, through out the intervening years, God has placed in my life some very special people that have taught me both directly and through example that God is very personal, that He loves me just the way I am, and He created me just the way I am.

So in this journey that explores contentment, I am also exploring what it is to be me, because as the first 30 years of my life clearly demonstrated,  I will never be content trying to live up to someone else's identity of me.