I'm not sorry either...........

First of all go read this and yes there is a link there that you have to read before reading Dana's entry.  So read both of those first and come back here,  I'll wait.

Okay you back?  Good.  First a little background on me.  I grew up trying to make sure every body was happy, and everybody liked me.  I didn't rock the boat, I wanted to fix things, and just lived life in my own little world.  If I got the rumblings of something not being 'right' I went into recovery mode to try and fix things.  If the background wasn't good, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out the best way to present the facts so it all 'looked good'  Even if I didn't have anything to do with it said situation.  Just making a choice to be friends with a person, made  me responsible for making that person 'presentable'.  This mixed up person came from a variety of sources.  The first born, perfectionist ~ fixer.  Being from a family of perfectionists, having a quiet introvert personality.  I am not blaming any one thing more than the other.  It simply combined to make me who I was.  I allowed these things to define me and my life.

However, it caused me great stress as I grew up and began a journey to figure out who I really was, what I wanted, and most importantly the person God created me to be.  What I am discovering is that, there are some pretty big differences in what I thought that was going to be, and what it really is.  And I keep making excuses for that to my past and many of the people there.  I keep saying "I'm sorry" for that.

But you know what, that is my fixer nature kicking in again.  Making things okay, presentable.  I can not go through life apologizing.  There will be times that I mess up and need to apologize and make amends.  But not being what someone else expects or wants isn't one of them.  So I am not sorry.