Why did I promise that I would write? What do I have to say? Who do I think is going to read this? I don't know the answers to any of those questions. I just know that I am drawn to write, but yet I don't because I don't have the answers to those questions. Those answers represent the great unknown to me. And the unknown is something that I fear. That fear keeps me enslaved. Keeps me bound to the comfortable world of what I know. The world of what I was brought up on, being safe, secure, take no risks that could land you in places that aren't 'safe'. And I am finding I don't like that. Not that I don't like being comfortable, or safe. Those are things I enjoy very much. But I don't like the feeling of being bound, the enslavement that goes along with it, the suffocation and the feeling that I am not really living. So I am going to face that fear, make a stand, step out and do something about it.
That is why I am writing. If no one reads it, if no one responds to it, well maybe, I chose the wrong venue or maybe that writing was just for me. I don't know. But I know one thing I have discovered in the few minutes since I started this writing. That writing fuels my thinking. And with that fuel I was able to realize yet one more thing about myself. And that 15 minutes was 15 minutes well spent.
YES! Writing does fuel thinking! Sometimes it just helps me sort out things I already knew and turns in it back into praise - like Psalm.
ReplyDeleteI understand the fear of writing words that no one will read--aren't we silly sometimes? But it DOES matter. I'll be reading!