Friendships

I have thought a lot today about friendships.  Who one calls a friend, how friendships happen, how one interacts in circles of friends.  All of these things have ideas have been stirred around in my mind.  Into the mix I have also stirred my own experiences and observations.

There are many types of friendships; acquaintances, casual connections, comrades, and close personal friends ~ those are my names for them.  Others may use different or have different levels but that isn't important, what is important is that there ARE levels of friendships. For each level you must give of yourself differently.  You must also receive differently.  What starts as a casual connection could possibly lead to a close personal, or even intimate friend.  However not all do, nor should all progress.  Each relationship has a place, some even a season in our lives.  Trying to push a friendship into areas which it should not go, is painful and destructive.  It can end the friendship completely and/or hurt the people involved in many ways.  However, holding oneself in reserve and not allowing yourself to contribute to a friendship destined for so much more, not only hurts all involved but denies you of having the benefits of that friendship.

I myself have many casual connections I have made over the years.  Those connections are great for a smile here, a laugh there, even encouragement from time to time.  However, they can slip on and off my radar very easily, and no feelings or emotions are tied to that.

Comrades are closer, and a somewhat smaller group.  Again there is a little more investment on my part and theirs as well.  They require honesty all the time, and openess up to a point.  When one of these friendships runs into trouble there is more invested in righting the wrong. Or more sting when the end comes.

Close personal friends, this is the tightest, and smallest group.  Few get this status,  fewer still keep it for a lifetime.  It involves the most intense work, but provides the greatest rewards.  But for this friendship to last both parties must invest deeply in it.  They must be vigilant about their work.  But these friendships are the most trustworthy, the most time honored, and the most likely to last of be renewed.  And the sting is the greatest when there are problems or endings.